Sharing Our Stories

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Parashat Acharei Mot–Kedoshim • Leviticus 16:1–20:27

Last week I shared more of my personal journey than I usually do.

My father had just been rushed to the ER. My daughter’s chemo treatments had stopped working, resulting in new tumors in her lungs and the existing tumors growing by 30%. I wrote about the heartbreak, the uncertainty, and the faith that sustains me even on the hardest days.

I suspect that if I hadn’t been so tired, I might not have shared so openly.

And I’m glad I did.

I’ve received incredibly meaningful notes from people I don’t talk to frequently, as well as heartfelt messages from people with whom I’m in regular contact. There is something connective about being transparent– sharing your truth during challenging times– that creates space for other people to respond with compassion, honesty, and stories of their own.

A good friend from my Havurah sent a message that touched me so deeply I asked her for permission to share:

“Hi, I am thinking about you and sending you a big hug. Your advocacy to make everyone aware of the BRCA gene and encouraging people to get tested prompted me to have my daughters tested. My middle daughter with the one year old tested positive. Thank you, Joanne. You and your daughter may have saved her life. She is going to enter into the genetics program at Penn. They told her she should have her ovaries removed before she’s 35 — it was a lot of information for a first visit. I am glad she will have doctors to guide her and watch her every step of the way. I am praying that your daughter is strong. You too. 🙏❤️“

I shared the note with my daughter, who responded, “I’m glad we can try to prevent someone else’s suffering”.

I first wrote about the BRCA gene back in October, when Sam received the life shattering diagnosis of stage four, triple negative breast cancer. I hoped that sharing what my family was living through might spare another family similar pain. I feel blessed to know that at least one young mom has knowledge that may help her live to see her child grow up.

In honor of my incredibly courageous daughter, I’m again sharing what we’ve learned. 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jews carries a BRCA gene mutation — approximately ten times the rate of the general population.

This mutation can affect both women and men, increasing the risk of breast, ovarian, prostate, pancreatic, and melanoma cancers. Even if only one parent or grandparent is of Ashkenazi descent, the risk remains. Please take a moment to review this infographic and share it widely. It could save someone’s life.

If you have Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, please talk to your doctor about BRCA genetic testing. Knowing — even when it is frightening — gives you and your family options.

Resources for Jewish Breast Cancer Awareness

Thank you for sharing these resources and helping make a difference in the world.

A Personal Update

My father began radiation treatment on Thursday to shrink the tumor in his spinal column. After two inpatient sessions, he was released from the hospital on Friday afternoon and was supposed to complete the remaining eight treatments as an outpatient.

A couple of hours after he got home, he fell and broke his left hip, and suddenly we were back in crisis mode, heading once again to the ER. We had to call an ambulance, which took us to a different hospital. Another Shabbat at the ER.

On Saturday morning, he underwent a partial hip replacement. We are now trying to figure out how to get him back to Penn so he can continue the radiation treatments he so urgently needs.

This is the piece I lettered in the hours before his surgery.

Please continue to hold my father, Gordon Fink, and my daughter, Samantha Trattner (Shira Natanya bat Yocheved), in your Mi Shebeirach healing prayers.

Counting the Omer: The Week of Netzach

We are in the fourth week of counting the Omer, the week of Netzach—endurance, persistence, spiritual stamina. Netzach gives us the drive to keep going, the ability to stay present, and the courage to continue loving, advocating, praying, and showing up even when the road is long and the outcome is unknown.

Right now, I am reaching for Netzach. I need the endurance to keep going.

To accompany my father through treatment.

To keep showing up for my daughter in the midst of a journey no parent ever wants to walk.

To keep urging people of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage to learn about BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations, get tested when appropriate, and share that information with the people they love.

I have long believed that when you have the ability to make a difference, you have the responsibility to act. For me, that conviction is deeply connected to Leviticus 19:16 in Kedoshim, one of the two parashiyot we read this Shabbat. When there is information that may help someone act sooner, ask better questions, or make more informed choices, that information can make a real difference.

And making a difference for others makes this unwelcome journey a little more bearable.

Acharei Mot speaks from the tender terrain of what comes after. After loss. After shock. After life changes in ways we never wanted. I find myself drawn to this parashah because it does not pretend that pain did not happen. Instead, it asks how we move forward with intention, and purpose. It reminds me that even when your heart is breaking, you can still seek connection and meaning.

Elevated Intention

O God, Creator of the Covenant,
deploy me in Your service!
Guide my footsteps
as I continue my journey.
Lead me towards awareness,
beauty, and connection.

Help me grow in devotion,
faith, and gratitude.
Bless me with the maturity
to respond rather than react
and the ability to use my gifts
to make a difference in the world.

Sanctify my intention
to elevate all I say and do,
so that I may be a conduit of
hope, healing, and holiness
and a source of unending love.

V’Ahavta L’Reyacha Kamocha

At the heart of Kedoshim is one of the most famous verses in all of Torah: V’ahavta l’reyacha kamocha — “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). Rabbi Akiva called it the great principle of the entire Torah.

This year, I hear that teaching in a very practical way.

Sometimes loving your neighbor means sitting quietly beside someone in pain.

Sometimes it means offering a meal, a prayer, or a hand to hold.

And sometimes it means speaking a truth that is difficult, personal, and painful because that truth might help protect someone else.

Here’s my prayer for Parashat Kedoshim:

The Light of Love

Eternal Source of Love & Light,
Help me discover the connection
to the sacred flame You have
kindled within my heart.

It is the light of passion.
It is the light of creativity.
It is the light of love.

When I look through the eyes of love,
I see each person I meet
as a vessel of possibility—
created in Your image,
filled with holy potential.

When love fills my heart,
there is no room for fear;
no space for resentment,
no foothold for despair.

Help me see beyond faults and failings
to the Divine spark within every soul.
May I see promise instead of limitation,
beauty instead of imperfection,
wholeness instead of brokenness.

Let love envelop me.
Let love connect and consecrate me.
Let love fill me, and flow through me.
Let love make me whole.

Guided Journaling Questions

  1. Where in your life are you being asked to practice endurance right now?
  2. What helps you keep going when the path feels uncertain or painfully long?
  3. Where are you being invited to bring more elevated intention to an ordinary moment?
  4. What truth might you need to speak—not to alarm, but to protect, support, or help someone else?
  5. Who has helped hold you up when your own strength has felt thin?

Closing Blessing

May you be blessed
with the strength to keep going
one step at a time,
one breath at a time,
one prayer at a time.

May your intention be elevated,
your heart be open,
and your love be enduring.

May you be surrounded
by people who help hold you
when the road is hard.

May the light you carry
bring hope, healing, and holiness
to those who need it most.

And may you move through this week
steadied by love,
sustained by hope,
and strengthened by community.

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