B’reishit · Genesis 1:1–6:8 · Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan · Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer
Every year, as I return to the opening words of Torah, I bring something different to them: new experiences, new questions, and a deeper awareness of how much our lives can change between one reading and the next.
In the beginning, God created. I have been exploring the opening words of Torah for more than forty years. Working with ink, handmade paper, paint, and digital composition, I continue to discover new ways to express the wonder of creation.
For the opening spread of the B’reishit section of my new book, Illuminated Journey, I explored creation and interwoven stories through acrylic pour painting—a technique I’ve learned in the past few years.
Let There Be Light
In the opening verses of Genesis, light emerges while the world is still taking shape. Creation unfolds gradually, with acts of separation, gathering, growth, and blessing.
B’reishit also reminds us that human beings are created in the Divine image. I understand this as an invitation to recognize the spark of holiness within every soul—and to consider how our actions can honor it. I strive to use my creative gifts to build community and bring light, beauty, compassion, and connection into the world.
We each have gifts to share. Creativity can take the form of a painting, a prayer, a meal, a thoughtful question, or a new way of helping someone feel included. Sometimes the light we bring is simply our willingness to listen and stay connected.
Here is my prayer for B’reishit.
In the Beginning
Source of Creation,
In the beginning, You spoke light into darkness,
order into chaos, and the world into being.
We thank You for the gift of life
and for embedding within us a spark of holiness.
Remind us to care for Your creation—
this fragile planet and all who dwell upon it.
Help us embrace the creative spark within,
and use our gifts to bring beauty,
compassion, and justice into the world.
Guide us to live in harmony with one another,
to build communities rooted in kindness and respect,
and to honor the spark of divinity in every soul.
May we, too, like the world You formed,
bring light into darkness
through acts of kindness,
words of love, and lives of purpose.
Begin the Journey with Me
As we return to B’reishit, I invite you to explore the annual Torah cycle with me in my new book, Illuminated Journey. This full-color hardcover brings together my Torah illuminations and accompanying prayers, along with glimpses into the creative process behind them.
You might spend a few moments each week with the artwork and prayer for the portion, or open its pages when you are seeking inspiration and connection. It also makes a meaningful gift for someone who appreciates Jewish art, prayer, and spiritual exploration.
Through October 31, Illuminated Journey is $44.99, with free shipping.
Returning to the Words
Over the decades, I have returned to the opening verses of the Torah again and again. My materials and techniques have changed, and so have I. Each new interpretation becomes another opportunity to listen, explore, and connect. Below is a page from the Visual Midrash section of Illuminated Journey, showcasing some of the earliest versions of my ongoing fascination with illustrating Torah text.
This is part of what I love about Visual Midrash: familiar words continue to invite new responses. We bring our lives to the text and discover something we are ready to see.
Order your copy of Illuminated Journey.
Welcoming Cheshvan
Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan begins at sundown on October 10 and continues through nightfall on October 12. As we move beyond the intensity of the High Holy Days and fall festivals, we have an opportunity to carry our intentions into the rhythms of daily life.
I’m welcoming this new month with a blessing for stillness, kindness, and the holiness we can discover in ordinary moments.
May the month of Cheshvan
be a season of stillness—
of settling, integrating, and listening deeply.
May we embrace quiet moments,
find strength in simple acts of kindness,
and welcome the opportunity to begin again.
May the sparks of holiness
hidden in ordinary moments
deepen our awareness, nourish our souls,
and illuminate our path.
Showing Up for the Ongoing Journey
October 13 is Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. As the mother of a daughter who is living with stage 4 (metastatic) breast cancer, I now know firsthand the experience of supporting someone you love who will be in treatment for the rest of her life.
Metastatic breast cancer is cancer that has spread to other parts of the body. There is currently no cure for MBC; treatment focuses on managing the disease, helping people live longer, and supporting quality of life. Treatment is ongoing and may change over time. When one treatment stops working or its side effects become too difficult to tolerate, another treatment may be tried. The American Cancer Society offers more information here and Metavivor, the Metastatic Breast Cancer Reseach, Advocacy and Support organization offers information here.
This week, while accompanying my daughter to her 34th chemo appointment, I asked what she wanted people to understand about her experience. Her first comment was, “Cancer is a full-time job.”
She keeps a log of medical appointments; this was her 213th appointment since diagnosis—and her 137th needle stick.
One of the words she used was “lifer.”
“It means I’m going to be on chemo for the rest of my life.”
“Live. Eat. Breathe. Chemo.”
“You don’t ever finish… this is your new normal. It’s forever.”
She also spoke about gratitude: “I’m grateful for chemo—it keeps me alive.”
Living with ongoing treatment requires extensive planning. She explained that preparation and systems help her get through the week. Flying by the seat of your pants doesn’t really work when so much of life needs to be arranged around treatment.
And there is the work of advocating for herself.
“Be the squeaky wheel. You have to be your own advocate.”
When I asked what people can do to support her, her answer was direct:
“Take the mental load away.”
A well-intentioned “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you” still leaves her with the responsibility of figuring out what to ask for, remembering to ask, and finding the energy to reach out.
“I probably won’t. I won’t remember. Or I’ll be too overwhelmed to ask.”
Her suggestions offer practical ways to make that support easier to receive:
- Offer something specific. Ask, “Can I drive you to your appointment?” “Do you need help with your laundry?” or “Would you like a chemo buddy this week?” These questions give her concrete offers to respond to.
- Take the initiative with everyday needs. If you’re going to the supermarket, offer to pick up groceries. Suggest a few staples and ask what else would be useful.
- Send an occasional surprise. A blanket, a coloring book, or another thoughtful gift can bring comfort and remind her that someone is thinking of her.
- Make space for her feelings. In her words: “Let me cry. Let me talk about the things that I’m dealing with.”
- Plan something enjoyable together. “Plan fun outings. Create opportunities to go do life things.” Keep making invitations, with room to adjust plans around how she feels.
I’m sharing her thoughts because they offer a place to begin. Each person’s needs will be different. For Sam, support includes practical help, space to speak honestly, and opportunities to enjoy life alongside the demands of treatment.
It also includes financial support—having cancer is expensive! So far this year, Sam’s out-of-pocket medical expenses have exceeded $60,000. At the same time, she isn’t able to work as many hours as she once did. The combination of increased expenses and reduced income has had a serious financial impact.
A lot can happen in a year. A year ago, Sam had recently been diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer, and we did not yet know that it had spread to her lungs. We were navigating totally unfamiliar territory. Next week marks one year since our first trip to MD Anderson, where we go every three months to meet with Sam’s oncologist. Today, Sam has a clearer understanding of what living with metastatic breast cancer entails, and I have a better understanding of what I can do to provide support.
The day she was diagnosed, Sam asked for advice from a friend who is an oncology nurse. She was told that attitude matters—words that Sam has taken to heart. She has embraced practicing positivity and gratitude—and I am incredibly proud of her.
The experience of the past year has forced us to grow in ways I would never have imagined. While I wish we were not on this journey, there are many things for which we are grateful.
At the top of my list are all of you who have included Sam in your prayers and added her name—Samantha Trattner, Shira Natanya bat Yocheved—to your Mi Shebeirach lists. Sam is grateful for the texts, messages, check-ins, meals, calls, and cards. We are both incredibly grateful to everyone who has contributed to her GoFundMe and helped ease the financial burden, and to everyone who continues to offer support in so many ways.
We are different people as we begin both the annual Torah reading cycle and the second year of Sam’s cancer journey. Thank you for accompanying us.
This week’s free coloring card says, “Holding you in my heart.” I invite you to color it, add a personal message, and share it with someone who could use a reminder that they are loved.
Guided Journaling Questions
- What would you like to create or begin, even while some things remain unresolved?
- How could you use one of your gifts to bring comfort or connection to someone?
- What small practice would you like to carry into Cheshvan?
- Who might appreciate hearing, “I’m thinking of you—no need to respond”?
The Light of Torah
Creator of Goodness—
May Your Holy Light
illuminate our journey
and shine through all we say and do.
As we read the Torah,
may we discover new meaning
in its ancient stories
and deepen our understanding of Your word.
May the spiritual practice
of delving into this sacred text
awaken the spark of creativity
You planted within each of us.
May the work of our hands
draw us ever closer to You—
Source of Light and Life.
May we open our hearts
to the blessings of this moment.
May we feel the strength of our heritage,
and may the Light of Torah
remain an enduring source of inspiration.
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